Correlation between serial killers and video games? Or more than meets the eye?

Recently,  a blogger I know said on her blog that she noticed that "almost every mass killer including the two recent ones Elliot Rodger (UCSB) & Cheng Chieh (Taipei Subway killer) are active video games / MMORPG players", to which many of her Facebook followers commented, some to agree, and some to disagree. She also asked if, "people who are loners tend to spend more time with games instead of integrating into society with normal people and this results in them having deviant thoughts and behaviors? Causation or correlation?"

Well, here's some of my two cents.

Could be correlation or just an unfortunate coincidence. It's not the game, but rather the fact that they isolate themselves from society through a hobby obsessively, or they have problems themselves which is why they isolate themselves from society through games or other 'closed-door' activities (nothing else to do when society isolates them).

I for one have seen content in anime, games, movies that can be overtly violent, filled with hatred, or sexuality, so I understand the concerns of some people who would be quick to blame the violent behavior on playing video games. However, that is still looking at the symptoms and not the cause. We have to find out why these people became lonely and isolated in the first place. Because the same video game / anime, or movies also contain positive elements that teach us the right way to behave etc. So why is it that many others who have watched or played all these had no problems, while a fraction of these become killers or commit suicide? I think we can go back to her previous posts on cyber-bullying or bullying to find the clue that will lead you to the answer. The issue here is emotional weakness. Some people are not strong enough to handle these emotional or psychological stresses. Some are stronger so they don't succumb. Some have family support. Some have social support (friends, girlfriend etc.). Some get such support because of their social skills (charisma, eloquence, convincing skills, cognitive skills etc.) which come naturally for some but not so naturally for others (so even if you ask them to learn by observing they would start to misinterpret what they observe, if they have hidden cognitive disabilities). Such people who are desperate and are 'at the bottom' of their lives can succumb to anything. It can be games. It can be movies.

Even the dramas we watch on TV can have disturbing messages because most forms of mass media thrive on the insecurities and needs of the masses to sell. Why the Korean dramas thrive so well? Because they thrive on the needs (and insecurities) of some ladies (and some men, depending on the drama) who are not getting all these 'perfect love' scenarios from their boyfriends or husbands, or dun have anyone in their lives to give it to them. One of the reasons why Harry Potter was so successful. The beginning of the story shows Harry being mistreated by his aunt/uncle. People like him because many people would have been in his shoes in one way or another: being an underdog (to oppressive persons in power) or being rejected (by a crush, a prospective job, client, etc.), something we are all so familiar with. Such stories also exist because of the insecurities of the writers of the stories. Violent stories and horror stories are examples of them.

Bram Stoker's Dracula was actually a reflection of Britain during the 1930s when there was a lot of immigrants from Eastern Europe, deflating the wages of the average British man, where Dracula's blood sucking tendencies were a reflection of the immigrants 'sucking' away the job opportunities. In other words, this literature classic sends a message of claustrophobia. This is example of a literary work or intellectual property where the writer may be unwittingly feeding on the insecurity of his readers. Similar for these games, there will be content that may influence the players because of their insecurities, and all this content has to be there for the game to be sellable. Killings, wars, etc. It's the man's innate desire to 'conquer' and 'possess', or seek justice for wrongdoings. Some of these games talk about seeking justice for the oppressed. You know what that message sends? It is 'alright' to seek justice for the 'oppressed' and the 'oppressed' may refer to 'yourself', the guy who did not get the girl he wanted, or the top boy position he coveted. So the fault lies not in the game, not in the books or other forms of intellectual property, but whoever is allowing him to feel these feelings, have all these expectations about life, and not help him to differentiate between fact and fantasy.

There must be a way to help these individuals live in the real world and the fantasy world at the same time, and not let characters or events in their fantasy world cross over to the real world (unless it is something harmless).

I used to have a friend who really lived in his own world. He was a former classmate of mine who claimed that he was the No. 1 Swordsman in China in his past life, and his wife back then was a girl he linked in his class. He claimed many things, like the knowledge of black magic, true religions were Buddhism and Hercules (back then the American "Hercules" TV-series starring Kevin Sorbo was the rage). He claimed that certain classmates of his were 'possessed', and other things. After I did my research, I found out that those characters he talked about came from certain video games or Chinese swordfighting novels. It was nice to see him so imaginative that he actually believed that all those fictional characters were real, and he said that to everyone, but is that really a good thing?

I for one, love to daydream. I daydream about Chinese swordfighting TV series, fighting scenes in games or anime, love scenes in my favorite movies or TV dramas (pretending it's me and some girl I like). After meeting him was when I discovered my passion and dream to write a fantasy novel where I was the protagonist and some girl whom I admired was the female lead. I worked on it for years due to changing perspectives in my life, new ideas acquired from new shows that I watched, and understanding the limitations I had in writing style, industry knowledge, exposure to different cultures and people, vocabulary, and foreign languages. I even wrote samples for my classmates to give their opinion so that I could improve.

Over the years the pace of my writing slowed down because of army and work commitments, but I didn't stop writing. I wanted to write about a world where I would be living a different type of life. A charmed life, getting the girls, having superpowers, having revenge on the people who upset, ridiculed, or humiliated me, who turned out to be demons from hell in disguise all whom I was justified to destroy.

I was living in my own world. I was creating my own world. But I was creating it with the purpose of also turning it into something big and marketable. A Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. I wasn't planning to live in my dream world and turn my back on the real world. I was planning to bring my fantasy world into the real world in a more productive way. It was supposed to be a source of income to fall back on if any of my employment pursuits in real life were to fail due to my inadequacies from the viewpoint of corporates that demand absolute perfection and nothing else.

In order to do so, I acquired vocabulary from a number of foreign languages to create names for magic spells, in Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Italian, French and Spanish. As a result I recognize a lot of words in these languages now even though I did not go for classes in those languages (except Japanese and Korean). I studied demonology to give names to my 'villians'. I read up about places in foreign countries to create settings for my story to take place in. London, Paris, Beijing, Shanghai, Hokkaido, Bangkok, Hanoi, etc. I even read up about some events in history that I could link with my story. In fact, it could very well be that all these events happened in another world parallel to ours, but those events that you read about in my story could have been erased from the memories of everyone in the world, only to be reflected in my story. You could say it is make-believe. You could say it is a conspiracy theory. I live in this world that I created for myself, but I don't lose myself in it and forget about the real world. I come back, and I live a normal life, just like everyone else.

I think that, for people who don't have every thing working out for them, I always welcome them to create a world for themselves which they can go back into without being trapped by it. They could write a book or a fanfiction which they probably could sell in future. Doesn't have to be good. Just do it. Make your fantasy worthwhile. Turn it into a game for others to play and appreciate.

Don't need to go round killing someone.

WRITE YOUR OWN BOOK AND BECOME THE SUPERHERO! DON'T BECOME THE VILLIAN IN THE REAL WORLD!

Friendzoned - Market value in dating

If you see photos of her taken with other guys in her albums and she has not asked you to take a photo with her to upload to hers, it's very clear where you stand in her life. Stop fantasizing. You're been friendzoned. Ignored. Move on. Even if you confess and she accepts a relationship with you, it won't be any different from being not in a relationship with you (not forgetting that girls nowadays accept relationships quite readily while still searching for better options). It is also a sign that your dating market value in her eyes has fallen. I've seen many guy friends enter into such relationships only to end up like that, because basically they can't maintain their value in the eyes of the girl they like. Happened to me too. That's why most of the time, before I confess, I give up. Because if she likes you, the kinds of hints she gives you will be very obvious. Today is the day I realize I have to give up, after eight months of dating her. I'm nothing more than just an 'ordinary friend' to her, even though she treated me more importantly than how other girls have treated me so far.

I realized that dating by itself, is like issuing shares onto the share market. It is controlled very much by market forces. Your market value depends on the value of your company. Is it making money? Does it have good corporate governance? Does it have long-term stability? Does it offer value to the buyer? All these determine whether people will buy or sell your shares? Same thing with dating.

Men during their 20s-30s or sometimes beyond are generally very insecure in the dating market. Because basically, unlike the girl who is in her youthful and fertile phase, basically has everything in terms of looks and youthfulness, the whole world is courting her. "Boys" from her class. "Guys" who are five years her age. Guys who are ten years her age. Professionals who could even be 15 years her age (hmm wait is he married?). That's when most guys are insecure at this age and can turn controlling and possesive.

According to "Professor" Jeraldine Phneah, a local blogger who is also a part time model and photographer, who has her articles backed by ample research and statistics by social research institutions, the time when a man reaches his maximum value on the dating market is 40. That will be the time when his career is stable and he would have gathered enough years of experience on how to deal with people, especially women. He would be better equipped to make a woman happy. Most guys in their twenties to thirties are clueless on how to make their women happy, and that will in turn cause the girls to be restless, or even dissatisfied with their relationships, causing them to either be quarrelsome if they stay in the relationship, end the relationship for another one, or look for flings. I have read testimonials by girls who did all these and found all these so true, even as a guy.

Have you heard of this saying? "A woman's loyalty is tested when the man has nothing. A man's loyalty is tested when the man has everything."
How about another saying? "If you want to test a person's character, give him power."

Girls in their 20s-30s are at their most powerful age, and this is why they are generally more judgmental and "I am holier than thou" or "know it all" in the way they (most of them whom I know, not all) speak, even though their experience in life and views of the world have yet to reach the stage where anyone can say that they have seen it all.

Of course, when you are at your most fertile age and productive age, you'll feel invincible. You'll challenge the limits of your capabilities, try to outshine other girls (or even guys). You will seek experience after experience, pleasure after pleasure, boyfriend after boyfriend, and nowadays it's orgasm after orgasm (unheard of during our parents' days). You'll have needs as numerous as the stars in the sky, and the man who can satisfy the most number of those needs, wins.

"Those were the days, my friend. We thought they'd never end. We'd sing and dance forever and a day. We'd live the life we choose. We'd fight and never lose. Those were the days, my friend, those were the days."

Come 30 onwards, if you have not hit the milestone of marriage, those are the lyrics you will sing. Now at this point, the guys would be somewhere in their lives, assuming they already started out on their careers. This doesn't include guys who had difficulty finding employment after graduation because of the labour market crunch <- if you are in this situation, you're no different from being in your economic sapling 20s, apart from being wiser in terms of life experience.

The ladies will still have their youthful beauty, though starting to fade away especially after childbirth. At this point, they generally will not be so reckless with their words, and will have developed more of the wisdom needed to be a mother, a wife, and raise a child, assuming they even get married. Those who have not, will also be wiser and more experienced, and also more understanding. Of course, being an experienced and established career woman, you would be more confident as a person and your expectations of a man would go up, in terms of the watch he wears, the car he drives. Younger men will be a no-no since it would be shortchanging your very own value as a woman which you worked so hard for so far in a so-called "men's world", which is fast becoming a "women's world" too. Just like how men won't marry up, women won't marry down. Even though there are men who are willing to choose a woman older than them, the women who are willing to settle for a younger man still pale in terms of percentage.

Come 40 onwards, assuming that as a man you are already successful, driving a nice car and getting a really nice salary from your company as a higher-level management executive, your value in the dating market should hit the roof. You’re at your prime and you can easily provide for your woman, or women. Back in his twenties, there may have been certain type of women whom he will not be able to get, and he probably settled for one who was within his reach during that time. Once he reaches that age, suddenly the type of woman that he always wanted would come into his life. By then he would already be married and won’t be able to pursue her, and even if he did, it would be miserable and he would be accused of cheating, and the woman will be accused of being a home breaker.

Quoting Professor Jeraldine:
“A lot of girls think that they can belittle/neglect/disrespect their guy as much as they like. In your early twenties, you can afford to do this and the guy will still treat you well. Why so because at this point in time, guys do not look as nice compared to girls and also have very little financial resources, translating to low market value in the dating market.”

“If you end up leaving this guy at this point in time, there are plenty of fishes in the sea even if you are just about average looking.”

“As such, during this phase, the guy tends to be more giving and sacrificial but the game changes when they increase in net worth. However, over time, the guy's power will grow in the relationship. He will get richer as his career progresses. In contrast, the girl will lose power as she ages. Physical beauty only last until they are 40 (unless you are like my mum who still looks very young because of her good genes and healthy life style).”

“As such, if you are the type of girl who doesn't have very bright career prospects but happen to be at least average looking AND you ill-treat him in your youth.... it is very likely that this resentment would build and when it is his turn to have more power and control in the relationship, good luck to you. He will probably gain new found confidence over time and go out and cheat or something.”

I watched a Hong Kong drama which I can’t remember the name, but it was about murder cases and so on, so I think it was a court drama. The girl, the accused, was a very lovely girl in her 20s. She met a guy and fell in love with him, but he was already married, and even though they cliqued very well, shared the same interests and ideals, legally he could not be with her. She loved him so much that she said, “It was my fault. I got to know you too late”. Yes, if she could get to know him before he got married many years ago, they would probably be together by now. I can’t remember the rest of the details but I think either the guy or his wife died and she was accused for the murder and was on the run.
That leaves me to the question. Does it make sense for guys to get married (and settle for someone below their expectations) before they reach their economic prime in their 40s in terms of life experience and social standing, when actually in future, they may meet someone better, which could be someone who was out of their league when they were powerless in the 20s?

For me, being an average earner with average looks and average achievements, I know where some of my male friends and I stand on the dating market. If I don’t go all out and introduce myself at social events, gathering or parties, waste my saliva introducing myself, my job, and my language abilities, and manage some basic flirting, basically my chances of meeting or getting to know someone will be zero, that’s for sure. Despite what I do to socialize, eventually I’m still not part of any group, there is no chemistry, and therefore no relationship. Most of the ladies have lots of male friends messaging them, and if you are of no value to them, don’t expect your messages to be even read or replied.

Going forward, it’s not over yet.

For the many times I have been friendzoned, at least I am relieved to know I was friendzoned. I don’t have to guess whether I have a chance or whether I have just wasted an opportunity by not taking action.

I am not giving up hope on dating or getting someone who is attractive or has a certain status to be interested in me and not just friendzone me. I’m still young, and have plenty more to learn and many things to experience. I have many friends who are pretty much “friendzoned” by their partners or spouses but are not opting out of the relationships only for legal or family reasons. I don’t know who is more reasonable, me or them? I swear that one day I’ll reach that stage where I will have value on the dating market, not to actually date them, but know that I’m being wanted. Life will probably be too good for me to even consider entering a marriage or a relationship by then. Probably that will be when I’m fourty.

Likewise, as usual I will be adopting the more cowardly approach of putting the blame back on God. “If you are destined to be together, you will eventually be together and nothing can separate you.” Sounds like what your parents would say, doesn’t it?

Still feels nice to be at the age when I can afford to believe in this hogwash. I’m a young guy, penniless and powerless, and almost worthless on the dating market. Yet, I still feel thankful to be young and have more opportunity to explore my likes and dislikes in women.

Upcoming new story

私は天使たちと共に踊るのをどれ程憧れていたのかわからないだろう？だが、結局天使に受け入れられず、悪魔が私を見込んだのか？じゃ、俺にどうしろっていうのか？よかろう、俺は悪魔の味方になるのを選ぼうではないか？俺を地獄に落とした天使達を罰する為にな！この時点から、俺は物語の方向を変えてみせる。。。修羅の道を辿る者なり。

Translation:
You can never imagine how much I wanted to dance with the angels. Eventually, I was not accepted by the angels, but the devil gave me his acceptance. So what do you expect me to do? In that case, why don't I choose to side the devil, so as to punish the angels who pushed me into hell. From this point onwards, the story will change its direction. It will be a path of bloodshed and misery.

For those you have not read the original story yet: Click here