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Who am I?

This is a very good question. Who am I?

And who are you?

This was the very first sentence asked in a Norwegian novel by the name of "Sophie's World". Yes, you may answer with your name, the school you study at, where you live, which country you come from, or which company you work at. But do these define who you really are? Do you really know who you really are?

In fact, I could answer this question very technically if I wanted to, but I choose to be honest with myself.

I choose to tell you the truth. 

I don't know.

In fact I am still in the process of finding out more about myself.

Sometimes the best way to understand yourself is to write a story. Not just any story. Not just an autobiography of yourself. That's too easy. Not just a love story or the story of your success or failure. Anybody can write that.

But writing something that's in your heart. Something that you can't even easily share with others even if you wanted to. That is not easy.

That is because our human heart is not easy to understand. In fact, it's very complicated.

What we crave. What we value. What we would do in certain situations. Sometimes we won't know unless we are put to the test.

The thoughts that go through our mind when certain things happen to us. The thoughts that go through our mind when we are bullied. The thoughts that go through our mind when we are in love with someone who does not love you back. The thoughts that go through our mind whenever we are attracted to a person we are not allowed to pursue.

Dirty? Forbidden? Disgusting?

These are our thoughts. They make up our inner world. Because they may be pointing to something that others would not be able to accept if they got to know about it, is it evil? Won't the people around you laugh and mock you for being attracted to someone you shouldn't even be thinking of? Your friend's wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend? Your teacher? Your boss's daughter? Your boss who's a married man? The consequences of acting on your desires is very real. Condemnation by society. Condemnation by your family and friends. Removal from the organization. Imprisonment or even death. It varies from country to country, era to era. 

But what if you wrote out your desires and changed the names of everyone that you liked. What if just by the virtue of the pen, you are able to change the circumstances that allow you and her to be together, even if it is for a while without needing to answer to anybody or accept any punishment for it. Let's say you are a guy who like this particular girl, but you can never have her because she already has a boyfriend and they are about to get married. What if you can rewrite their story? What if you can merge with the body and consciousness of her boyfriend for a day, and enjoy a night with her, experiencing everything he experienced? What if that guy who is her boyfriend, is actually your long-lost personality, or a part of you that was split away from you at your birth or in your past life? What if the girl who you are attracted to, is the long-lost fragment of the soul/personality of your actual future girlfriend? What if your attraction to this girl is because you are being attracted to a fragment of the actual future love of your life whom you haven't met? 

There was this girl whom I knew on Facebook who mentioned this:

"He has his eyes on her and every other girl, but all she wants is for him to have eyes for her only"

I mentioned this.

"Don't worry. The other girls are just your clones, but you are the original."

So basically even if he sleeps with them, he is not cheating on her, because he is still sleeping with her, the love of his life. Those "clones" that he slept with were still "her", except that they were part of her and shared the same consciousness with her. So no matter how many he slept with, he was still technically "faithful" to her.

This is the concept that I have been exploring. How do we have all the girls (guys if you are a girl) that we want while being faithful to one?

It is to become a very special being which has the ability to do so.

This being, in my story, is called a "novagel".

I am a human being, but in this story, I am a "novagel". All the girls I was attracted to were actually the same person as the love of my life. All the guys whom my lover was attracted to were actually the same as me? They were the lost fragments of my soul who have developed minds and bodies of their own, and uniting with these "fragments" would transform me into a better me? A new me with the combined positive traits of these other personalities. Similarly for her, whereby she will become a more beautiful girl after merging with the other girls. Those other girls are actually her, so being attracted to these other girls was the same as being attracted to her. So technically, even though I have a roving eye, I am still faithful. 

This is the ability, and privilege of the novagel.

With great power comes responsibility. They are not only young, but also immortal. They have magical powers and they have the power to fight powerful demons that plague mankind and cause suffering to the human world. 

In fact, as I write and develop this concept in my mind, I am starting to believe that they actually exist. I mean, it could very be that I am a novagel myself, had made love with my novagel princess and all the other girls who turned out to be her "clones" who share the same consciousness as her. Except that some major event has made me forget all about it and cause me to foolishly continue living my life as a mediocre human being, living from day to day, having a routine day job and constantly waiting for weekends every week and holidays every year. 

If that is the case, my mission is to write this story and share this with the world. So that I can remember who I am, regain my powers, reunite with my lover, and get out of this miserable mundane ritual of daily routines and embark once again on an adventure, together with her, fearing nothing, without a care in the world. 

If you wish to see me have my wish fulfilled, please do me a favor. Read the first few chapters of my story, and buy the whole book to finish it (I'm sure you'll like it, so I don't have to ask you to buy it if you like it). Don't think of it as a story. Think of it as a spell. A spell to help you remember who you really are. A spell to help you rekindle your passion for whatever or whoever you used to love. Reading it would be therapeutic to you if you are in emotional pain. This story will be your confidant. You are reading this with me to help me find my happiness, and find your own happiness. 

This story, Desire Revolution, is my gift to you.

Without further ado, let the adventure begin.


Jona


P.S.: When I refer to sleeping with multiple partners who turn out to be the clones of your significant other, this is just a fantasy scenario. Please do not confuse this with reality and actually go all out and sleep around thinking it is alright to do so just because you became a novagel. No. You are not a novagel. You are just an ordinary human being. The multiple partners you may engage in a sexual relationship with are totally different individuals and do not constitute any physical or psychological extension or fragment of your significant other (in other words, they are not the inferior clones of your significant other and do not use that to justify cheating). I do not condone cheating and I will not be held responsible for any breakups of any relationships or marriages, or crimes of passion and jealousy that may be the result of cheating on your partner after reading this blog post or my story, read either in full or in part. Thank you.